Just Fine.

How can I help you?

What do you need?

Want me to bandage your wounds as you bleed?

Want me to break to ensure that you bend?

Give and give and pretend it won’t end?

Want the shirt off my back,

or the skin underneath?

Want the ground from my feet,

or the breath from my teeth?

Want me to carry 

the weight of your world

while you balance your mood 

on the edge of my curls?

Want a cheerleader, 

therapist, 

driver, and 

clown—

but only when you feel like having me ‘round?

Should I alter my plans, 

ignore all my pain,

walk through your fire, 

not dance in my rain?

Should I shrink when you're loud,

and stand tall when you’re shy?

Hold it all in when I just want to cry?

Would it help if I swallowed 

the words in my throat

so yours could take center 

in every vote?

If I kept myself quiet 

and bit down my doubt,

would you even notice 

the pieces left out?

Do you like me best 

when I say “I’m just fine,”

when I give you my heart 

and don’t ask for "mine?"

When I lend you the warmth 

from my own dim lit sun—

what will you do 

when that light is done?

Where are you at

when the silence grows?

When my smile cracks 

and the cold wind blows?

Do you text back late 

with a half-ass felt “soon,”

then disappear 

like the end of a tune?

Are you just “too damn busy,”

but just not for me?

Do you hold space for my hurt,

or just want me to be

The strong one, 

the sweet one, 

the one who forgives?

The girl who gives—

                                      and gives—

                                                             and gives?

When I finally ask

for anything back—

do you flinch like I’m selfish,

like you're under attack?

So what will you do

When the giver does break?

When the reserve runs dry,

or the levee just breaks?

When I can't offer more—

will you stay? Will you flee?

Will you still find a way

to suck more out of me?

Can you love me out loud 

when I fall apart?

Or just when I’m holding 

your torn-to-shreds heart?

Would you come if I whispered,

“I need you too”?

No?

Well that figures...

I already knew.